Stop the ride, I wanna get off

mondays are always so tiring. sucks. missed my bus today, walked in, and things went on from there. not much happened in first period, or comms, and then computing was dr bond talking to us about the coursework and me doodling in my notebook. damn people watching me doodle.. it's disconcerting.

break was normal, with things and stuff. i wrote a very brief essay on look back in anger in the free before english, and then that happened. that was tiring, then there was lunch, without food, and.. err.. yeah. japanese happened, the teacher got kinda annoyed, but some amusement was had despite being tired. then, my bag, which hadn't yet lasted a full year (and being my second bag since starting at ags in 2000) finally broke completely. the last zip just couldn't take the strain of those extra books. damn library.. it's been fiction books EVERY time that bags broken. now i need a new one ¬_¬

left my bag in alex's locker cos it would've been too annoying to carry home. all broken and whatnot.

at least i don't have any major work for tomorrow.. just that comms speech to prepare for on monday. that comms speech which is 25% of my grade. that comms speech which i havn't really scripted yet. oh yeah. that comms speech.

Not for the first time...

been a relative while since the last post... not counting the actual last one, which was only one word, i havn't posted anything substantial for at least a week. not that nothing happened, i mean, there was the whole thing with alex's "party" on saturday/sunday (vodka was consumed) and while i did get drunk, i can still remember as much as i would otherwise. not that much i can be bothered to talk about it though.

god, even that seems like ages ago now, and it was last week... anyway, the week continued, and i didn't have to go back to that place until tuesday, because of the history conference. which was.. well. the first talk was boring, and they got.. less interesting. i got two pages of notes (read as: doodles) which was quite cool, but my doodles are just the same thing revisited every time i get a fresh peice of paper. it probably has something to do with my persona or something. i'm sure a psychoanalyst would be interested in the reccurent themes of fire and swords and whatever else, eyes and shit. not actual shit, but more.. well, if you don't get it then i don't care.

i bought a NEWSPAPER for the return train journey (the times, just in case you care) i feel so old. anyway, school happened pretty much as usual after that. you know, the random 7 headed demons acosting you in the hallways, the prescient visions induced by the water, and the... explosions? i don't know, whatever.

i spent most of the week in an odd sort of funk, which was almost entirely due to fatigue. i felt.. dead, or something. when you can sleep all evening, and all night, and still wake up shattered, there's something seriously wrong. sleep should CURE tiredness, but not this week. it just bred more fatigue.

and then it was my birthday on thursday, and that was entirely uneventful. i say entirely.. obviously things happened. just usual things (i actually got a number of beats earlier, when i pointed out to ellis and simon that it'd been my birthday during the week. smart move, that..) i actually crawled into bed shortly after i got home, and a while later was dragged out of bed to have happy birthday sung at me. i don't get to choose to do what i want on my birthday, no.. like sleep.. escape from the ache of awareness..

but whatever. school. ugh. i should probably kill it before it kills me. i'll go prepare the explosives now.. all i need is some soap.. well, not only some soap. i need nitric acid too. and i think sawdust. whatever.

/sigh

Drunk? Moi?

and so, the half term continues, and anything of any major importance continues to fail to happen, if that makes any sense (or even if it doesn't, i'm past caring at the moment) although, it's now halfway through half term and i've actually gotten fsck all done, so go me. i rock with the laziness and whatever.

another day of having weed smoked at me, which in and of itself doesn't sound great, but today i had enough vodka and coke to be in a happy place, far, far away. rolling around on the floor playing with a ball kind of happy place. hanging round my sis and her stoner friends is funny when i'm drunk though. laugh riot.

true story.

Move along

so, not entirely sure how much i can be bothered to write. there was karate on saturday, which was almost entirely taken up with taizabakishodan, and a competition sort of thing with all the grades doing the same katta, so that happened. i came first out of the green belts (all three of them.. only beating simon and ellis, really) and got given a shiny silver medal. after that, i hung around with ellis, simon, mark and beth, until they went off to see final destination three, which i couldn't be bothered to go see (soo.. i went home.. yah)

sunday was.. eh, alright.. met up with matt and sammi, and eventually alex, who decided to miss his bus and be an hour late, so that we could, of all things, go swimming. it was cold, and less surprisingly, wet, but whatever. other things happened, and i ended up home at some point.

and then, well. i sat in my sisters room and watched full metal jacket while she smoked.. some.. illicit substances..

and that happened today too (except for the watching full metal jacket thing) i was called a 'good boy' by her friend for not.. partaking of narcotics, but i was also told i probably would, eventually.. i doubt it..

I've seen sinking ships go down with more grace than you

i'm generally apathetic about thursdays (well, about most days, but whatever) but today had what could almost be called emotional extremes, if they were actually not just slight feelings of happiness and/or uneasiness. elaboration, perhaps, might help. i had computing first thing, and had to do the practical exam many people had already done, which not only wasn't too bad, but got marked as soon as i'd finished it, so i saw dr bond write the big fat 74 out of 75 on the test paper, which was lots of fun.. apart from being nearly full marks, it puts me ahead of.. well, most people, except for the few who've been programming longer than they've been toilet trained, like chris spencer. so that was.. good..

history.. and i just started laughing when we were set our task for the day. we were told to design a FACIST ITALY PROPOGANDA POSTER! not something i particularly wanted to do, but it was funny. and if anyone ever asks me 'what do they teach you in schools nowadays' i can say that they teach us to make facist propoganda. rofl indeed.

history was also good because the teacher failed to notice that i hadn't handed in the essay due in last week. which would have made my day perfect, had my english teacher not asked for the essays i owed my OTHER english teacher.. that was unexpected.. apart from that, english was alright. aparantly, tomorrow we'll be parodying conrad's writing style. and today, we had a nice talk about surrealism. the less said about 'dadaism' the better.

the rest of the day was largely uneventful, the YE meeting was a normal meeting, little got done, and i got told to make the site better-er.. and said i'd do it over half term. along with all the actual _work_ i have to catch up with ¬_¬

Congratulations, you've created new levels for me to be disgusted on!

I took a day off today, figuring that it would be the best option for my mental health, among other things. apart from being shattered, tuesday was not looking like a Good Day, so i decided to make it go away by pretending it didn't exist. thusfar, it seems to have worked, and i not only got sleep, but remain unscathed from any repercussions. which is good. very much so.

as i have, indeed, spent most of the day asleep, i don't have much else to say, so i won't say it. toodles

Not an admirable trait at all

urg. a week and a day left before half term.. not that much'll happen then, of course. a week full of apathy and sleep, and probably less food than is healthy, but whatever.

got my bus today, after missing it from oversleeping two days in a row.. so i managed to go to tescos and get my coke. and then, i spent extended registration bored, and sort of doing computing homework, without thinking about it. which wasn't difficult, as i could just steal the answers from jonny for most of it. and guess the answers to the other one (with statistics! woo!)

computing happened, and i think i got the amount of work done that Bond wanted done, done. so despite the previous sentence not making sense (and TECHNICALLY therefore not being a sentence.. you pedants.. what do you mean i'm the one correcting my grammar? i'm only doing it pre-emptively..).. um.. what was i actually talking about? hmm.. work got done in computing. and apparantly Bond's Aibo has arrived, though that was after our lesson.

history occured! essays were not handed in! they are supposed to be done tonight! this may or may not be an event that occurs! also - mussolini was obviously only a facist because he didn't talk till he was three. you gotta watch out for those silent types.. ._.

//Interlude
right.. Simon just started talking to me. if you're not filled with dread:

[17:50] The Simon Coppack || 'Coz I know everything sucks yeah, and this is gonna be the last time you're gonna hear me complain: SCHNEE SCHNA SCHNAPPI!
[17:50] The Simon Coppack || 'Coz I know everything sucks yeah, and this is gonna be the last time you're gonna hear me complain: SCHNAPPI SCHNAPPI SCHNAP!
[17:50] I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive, now I only waste it dreaming of you: yes!
[17:50] *** The Simon Coppack || 'Coz I know everything sucks yeah, and this is gonna be the last time you're gonna hear me complain is trying to send you "schnappi das kleine krokodil.mp3"

and this song he's sending me turns out to be from some.. odd.. german.. crocodile animation..? o.....k...

talking to simon at any time is generally hazardous to your mental health, but still, What The Fuck?

End Interlude//

break was fruitful. and by fruitful, i mean coke-ful. and by that.. i don't entirely know what i mean, but thats completely irrelevant. the POINT is that english after break was boring, and the prospect of a YE meeting before going home was rather ruining my mood. but then it turned out miss chalk was away, so the meeting got sort of.. cancelled. which was fine by me. met up with the others and did what we normally do.. although i say 'what we normally do' in the loosest sense, in that we got food. we don't normally go to macdonalds en masse, but whatever. went home after that, right after ABL pleaded i did period seven duty for the maths block so that he could skive and have it not noticed.. funnily enough, i said no, and went home.

also, i think we'll stop shunning matt eventually, say.. in a couple of years. me (and alex, but he's not important) not trustworthy? i knew matt was dumb, and had no sense of tact, but god.. what an idiot.. i used to think he was a relatively good judge of character, despite his apparant.. simpleness