And it twists like a blade, and kills me for the rest of my life

I was worried for a second I might have lied, and said in the last post that I'd post if anything happened, and considering that things have happened (as you should expect, I mean it's nearly been two weeks now..) that would make me a horrific liar. luckily, what I said was "let's wait and see if something worth posting about happens" which isn't the same thing at all.

So, now that my conscience is cleared, what manner of things have happened? let's go for the traditional order of things, and go through 'major' events in chronological order..

- so, nothing of note happened till tuesday, when I very nearly got drunk. this was, unfortunately a major event, which as you may discover, does not give the impression that much happened to me over what is nearly now a fortnight. I decided to be nice and tell my sister i didn't *need* to get drunk and she could go out and do what I think was referred to as "ASBO worthy behaviour".

- wednesday rolled around, and i had been invited to the cinema, but failed to ask vicki the very important question of who was actually supposed to be turning up, so I ended up being a third wheel, because NO ONE EXCEPT FOR DAVE AND VICKI was actually going. it could have been worse, I suppose, and I just thought of how, but we won't go into that because it could mean pain for me. for reference, we went to see stormbreaker.. which was.. surreal. yup.

- thursday followed wednesday (as it usually does.. but there was that time in '93..)
and i had organised a small gathering (small for a few reasons, while the house was mostly free, my dad and older sister were both around sometimes, so this was a gathering with parental permission as opposed to a free house thing, but also because you get more interesting coversations when you only have a few people around) and although originally everyone was supposed to have a lift home, the guys all ended up staying over (andy, dave and matt being 'the guys'. vicki was there earlier, but her parents didn't want her staying late or something) anyway, there was not an immense amount of alcohol, but enough to keep us all.. happy.. and no more need be said.

- I was *supposed* to go ice skating on monday (and I suspect this would be third wheeling again...) but I was supposed to get up at about 9:00 AM, and didn't. I actually woke up at about 3 PM, an impressive 6 hours late. go me.

- After that... well.. there was results, but before that bomb drops, I've just recalled an event from the day before (wednesday, by which time my whole family was back.. ish) basically, events transpired so that I was awake at 10:22, after going to sleep at 6 ish (both of these times are AM, people. my poor head) and decided to utilise this time (after slumming around, half dead at home, until about 1 oclock) to go into town, buy a random CD, and just generally wander. I had to drag along the little brother, because I was in charge, but he was content to chatter away at me as long as I nodded randomly, and said things like 'uh huh', not really listening to anything but my CD player. anyway, the POINT was, I detoured to tescos, bought some coke for me and some diet coke for the little one, (he either prefers it or my parents have brainwashed him somehow) and as I was now a little out of my way, decided to wander through the vale park.

there I was, walking along, and just went past one of the benches where there was some guy sitting (there was something odd about him, but I couldn't place it, and just walked past) and just after going a little way further, I heard something like "Rory, is that you?", turn around and blink at the guy, and he asks "do you recognise me?" and it hits me, and it's a guy I haven't seen in years, but who used to be my best friend in days gone by, when I was young and innocent.. before I even met jonny, and kids our age, back then.. they really WERE innocent. anyway, nostalgia aside, i did recognise him, and said "dan? is that you?" or something along those lines, and we got talking about different things. he was on his lunchbreak, so we weren't talking for that long, but mostly we were just talking about how different our lives had become, which was especially weird considering what would be happening the very next day.. which was my AS results.. my old friend Daniel Kelly (I couldn't remember his surname at the time, and didn't ask, but my parents could) had dropped out after GCSE's, and was finishing different course type things. we parted ways with "see you arounds" although considering we hadn't for years, we probably wouldn't again.

- To get back on track, that blast from the past sent me reeling, and then I started to worry about AS results (which i hadn't really, up to that point) and as a result, had yet another bad nights sleep, with, I think, about 3 hours sleep overall. then it was time for the actual results.. and without going into detail, i could have done better (i could have done worse) and i will be attending the grammar again in september. it was only then, with the results in my hand, that the nerves really hit, and my throat went dry, and i only managed to regain control when they were firmly hidden away. i spent the rest of the day floating around, following a slowly dwindling croud, before eventually deciding that, while i WAS too tired to walk home, it was more effort to continue wandering around town with no purpose, so i got home to an empty house and crawled into bed to try and escape the numbing feeling conciousness had become.

since then, I've had sleep, but am still not on a normal human sleeping pattern, but c'est la vie. mostly i've been bored out of my mind (I went for a two hour walk) and desperately wanting a stiff drink. anyone reading this should arrange for me to be given a heavily alcoholic drink, because i would probably sell my soul for an opportunity to no longer be sober.

And that's what hearts are for; you give her one, she breaks more

I am returnéd from what was referred to by muzz as "the motherland", the place in question being of course ireland, after two weeks of.. not being at home. what occurred was varied throughout the fortnight, as can be seen by the fact that over the two weeks, i slept in about 6 different beds (there was lots of moving around). suffice to say that the trip had unfortunately less alcohol than i would have hoped for (although the more intelligent of you might take from that that i got drunk off my head every night for 14 days, recognising there is quite a large upper limit to my desire for the old alcohols) but there was some. staying with 18 year old cousin for a week has it's benefits.

truth be told i didn't really get drunk, because the time i started spending money on alcohol, i was running out of money to spend on alcohol (sucks to be me) and all i was drinking was mostly cider, which i haven't ever used by itself to get drunk (but i have plans for whenever a bunch of us get together next, which is something i'm plotting for this week while most of my family is still in ireland. the plans go something along the lines of saying "look! 8 cans of cider! anyone want to race me to see who can drink 4 the fastest?" which could be entertaining.

anywho, among the highlights of my holiday were:-

- lots of swimming. lots and lots of it. a week by the beach and then near a swimming pool with fairly active (and rather bored) relatives will do that to you. there was even nearly a point where we went swimming at 1 AM. in the sea. the oh so very cold sea, which causes the numbness. like ice. luckily, the swimming in the dark was abandoned, and we ended up just trying to scare some people in a car who were (in my cousin's words) "canoodling"

- avoiding a fight between two not exactly tall or well built drunks and my cousin, who was surrounded by about fifteen friends. as we walked home it transpired he had someone elses blood on his jeans. fun.

- lots of Halo 2 late into the morning (and generally lots of late nights/early mornings, but that's hardly unusual for me) and i would argue that i probably improved there. i was beating both of my cousins by the end of the week (although not all the time, obviously) but that might have more to do with the tendency to respawn with a sword or a rocket launcher because we had it on random weapons.

- i went fishing. it was dull, as expected, and so the next two times my cousins went out fishing, they went at 5 AM, so i could do something useful in the meantime (like sleep)

- lots of walking. the cousins i was staying with live in the middle of nowhere. having said that, it only took about 15 minutes to walk into the nearest town, and it takes me more than half an hour to walk into aylesbury, and i do that all the time so it was hardly a big deal. walking out further into the rural-ness to the free house of my cousin's friend was a bit of a trek though..

this would not be an exhaustive list, and there was much fun to be had, but a lot of it focuses more on details than whatever, so i can't be bothered about it (and/or can't remember it) but it was striking that most of the people in kilkelly made me feel like we're all posh, prudish and well behaved little schoolboys in comparison, who go to church and are all pious and crap. scary.

anyway, i've probably said as much as i'm going to say, so let's wait and see if something worth posting about happens. cheerio.