Give me envy, give me malice, give me your attention

this redundant statement tells you that monotony is not fun!

got up late today, didn't even stay up too long last night, so i dunno why. but anyhoo, it resulted in me meiising english, even though i wasn't _THAT_ late. so i dawdled, and did some computing homework, and generally got little of anything done. this dawdling was continued throuht my free period, and probably a little of the way into history, although i did get some work done in history. maybe. what, you want proof? i.. uh.. lost it. yeah, that'll work. anyway, that happened, as did break, with.. coke, and talking. possibly also some stabbing. i can almost guarantee some shunning was involved, mainly of matt, but probably also of alex.

computing seems to be becoming more and more like actual work. which is incredibly annoying, but there you have it. lunch was when the BIG EXPLOSION happened, and we were invaded by aliens who had this soul stealing device. they stole everyone's soul, but i managed to get away using an intricate contraption i contrived out of some paperclips and a magnet, with a burning chip fork for fuel. it successfully bamboozled the aliens and i was able to escape with only one limb lost!

Just because you have a different lifestyle choice..

tch. a sunday without a lie in, and with a rude awakening/packaging off to milton keynes for trade fair. i dunno what to say really. it was alright, but a lot of the time was spent being bored. i can think of a number of things that would be a better use of my time and/or money. sleeping is the first one that comes to mind, but there are others. like recovering from ALL NIGHT DRINKING AT ALEXS PARTY IF HE HADNT GOT IT FSCKING CANCELLED!!!

arg. i didn't mean to start talking about that. i suppose if i reaaaaaaally wanted to get drunk theres always that vodka bottle. that one over there. in that cupboard.

or.. not.. not yet anyway. i don't want to go back to school tomorrow.. or ever, really, but as i have nothing better to do..

Lackadaisical!

huw00rj, saturday. i need a holiday, there's not enough time in this thing you mortals call a 'weekend' to get all the required laziness fit in along with all the things that actually need doing. i mean, today for example. there was karate, and it was Bo-ing, with staffs and fun, we even got to devise short bo sequences with a partner. me and simon actually got picked as having the best one, and it's only fault was the lack of a kill apparantly, and that was a tad harsh seeing as the proper one it was supposed to be based of didn't have a distinct kill.. but whatever, we won.

after that, i had to hang around until i could be dragged off with ellis and simon to ellis' to work on a secret (but probably not necessarily still needing to be a secret) project for the YE trade fair tomorrow. i could really do with having a day off tomorrow instead of the trade fair, but meh. it should be relatively fun if tiring.

i had planned to get some work done on the computer today, but have been told a minute ago that after dinner i'll get kicked off the computer, and won't get back on for the rest of the day, which is not only incredibly annoying, but also.. incredibly annoying.

Can't sleep. clown'll eat me.

and when i say clown, i am of course referring to that old commonly used metaphor for 'work'. OR i'm making crap up to fit in a simpsons quote. today wasn't too great, andneither was yesterday, but last night was cool. Reel big fish was awesome. i also spent most of the night 'guarding' (wearing) simon/ellis' trilby, so i had a HAT. also, um. yeah. 'twas good. i dunno if i can reaaaaally be bothered to say much else.

although, damn ABL. Sammi gave him SWORDS for his birthday..


SWORDS!!!

Take your tears, put 'em on ice

doo doo doo, tuesdeh, doo doo doo, etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc.

allright then, on with the commentary. got into school, didn't go to tescos, drank water, had caffeine tablets, completely ignored whatever was going on next to me that involved horizon products, then went to assembly, where music was played by gillis and some pianist, and it wasn't necessarily bad, but it was classical music, and as such extremely tedious. english was mainly more reading through of look back in anger, and then there was a free period.. spent is the wrong word, wasted would be more accurate, wasted talking to ABL and dave, among others. history was, as it always is on tuesdays, extremely brief. break occured, there were things, that may or may not have happened. during computing i had to sit next to people i don't know so well due to chair shortage s (that sentence is DELIBERATELY ambiguous. shut up) and there was loooooooots of theory. and then a little more, just for the hell of it. needless to say, *I* spent it doodling in my notepad, and obviously taking notes. it's kind of worrying when someone you don't even know asks you why you're 'high'.

lunch! was largely uneventful, and led to comm studies, which was a fun fun fun fun fun! essay. what sarcasm?

infidel.

There's something in the waaaaaaater!

and verily, another week commences. and with the experimentation of not-coke-drinking, it's passing by in a heady blur of rapid babblings and malignant energy. words need not be said on the subject of 'ninja boy', and in fact the least said the better. being around people seems to incur the onset of madness, and the solitude brought on by not being at school appears to be an incredibly calming influence, allowing me to not appear _completely_ insane.

but descents into madness aside, the day was.. a tad pointless, perhaps, or maybe some other word i don't know, which would describe it aptly. but since i don't know of this word, it's besides the point. we had to put down our provisional choice for subject dropping today, and history was put down with no pause for thought. then, a free period occurred, and i brought my books back to the library. ollie was amazed that i could have read four books in a week, which says a lot about ollie. he then proceeded to attempt to joke when i mentioned reading war of the worlds, 'oh, they made a book out of the movie then?'. i could have mutilated him, and had he not been joking probably would have done so. as it was, my expression made him shut up, and other things were talked about. i did get two more books out, Dune, as per simons suggestion, and 'A Clockwork Orange' as one of those books i feel required to read.

dave and matt both showed up in our free, apparantly having had their lessons cancelled or some such nonsense. this eventually resulted in a trip to tescos during comms, instead of the required 'go work on your coursework'. computing, with Dr Bond not here, resulted in me attempting to make a subliminal messaging program using images and a timer, but was too slow. i gave up, and all hope was abandoned by ye who enter here.

break was wasted in the usual manner, but instead of coke there was fizzy water.. and caffeine tablets.. and speaking of them, i'd suspect their involvement in the usurpation of my sanity were it not for previous evidence of their lack of effect on me. even the coke, i thought any changes were based purely off of a psychological dependancy, rather than any actual chemical need.

i spent my free period six in the other classes computing lesson, prodding them because the teacher wasn't there. apparantly the aibo showed up today, but he, not being there, wasn't there to show it off. after that, there was a vauge amount of hanging out with dave in front of the gate, and maaaaybe i decided it wasn't worth going to english.. eventually andy showed up, and his absence due to work-shadwing-age was revoked, apparantly he has to go next week as they weren't ready for him this week.

also, ABL, being the 'tard that he is, got his birthday cancelled YET AGAIN, meaning no alcomohols next saturday, and no halo 2 while drunk. i'm extremely disappointed in him for being so very very stupid. on the 'positive' side, i get to go to the YE trade fair in milton keynes now, but at what cost?!!?! AT WHAT COST?!!?!

at lunch, the ninja boy emerged, but as previously mentioned the less said about that the better. there was much piss-taking of matt, with shouts of 'secrets and lies!' being abound. matt tried to argue intelligently that he technically hadn't lied, but being matt and therefore not the smartest boy ever to grace this earth, quailed under my argument of him lying by omission.

japanese resulted in an extremely annoyed ABL (also, an extremely annoyed japanese teacher, and probably a slightly less but still annoyed dave) to quote myself, 'tototototototototoTO!' if i ever said all that needed to be said with one quote, that was now.

in other news, 'hints of water' may well be an accurate description of what tescos is selling as slightly flavoured spring water. after nearly two whole litres spread over the day, i was parched on the way home. tomorrow, i'll have a litre of real water, and we'll see if anythings different.

Every balanced diet should be rounded off with several caffeine tablets a day

Ugh. weird week, and of course it would be topped off with the weirdest day. i can't go into that many specifics, and many people might not even say it was that odd, but it sure as hell wasn't normal. i decided last night to start an 'experiment' today, which largely involves a week of me avoiding the coke, and while this may appear vaugely sensible, replacing it with fizzy, flavoured water and caffeine tablets might mean the only difference is that i miss out on that bitter-sweet brilliance, but i'll probably just be using 'normal' water during next week. if i last long enough into next week, that is. i'll probably stick with the caffeine tablets, despite their apparant lack of effect. gotta get rid of those ones i bought today somehow, might as well use them to help me not die.

that being said, i had cravings for and/or withdrawal symptoms for most of the day. there was an extremely random point near the end of the day where i think i went more than a little insane, and had an odd moment of.. something sort of like clarity, but i've felt that before.. like a warped version of it, i guess.. it didn't last anyway. and i've had the oddest giddy feeling.

*wonders*

Fury + Powerlessness = Frustration

euch. so annoyed right now. can't even begin to go into why, it's complicated, and also, i just don't want to. secrets and lies isn't even the half of it. and to make matters worse, it's not the white hot, unbridled fury that results in damaged walls and broken knuckles, its a sort of intensified annoyance. which is probably worse.

also, parents evening wasn't too bad, but was terribly embarassing. and i appear to have got the appointments in the wrong order - they went from really good to sort of not great, but even my last appointment wasn't bad. as such. could've been worse.

the YE thing went badly too, we didn't seem very organised, and our products were well suited to christmas-coming-up periods but january.. just.. no. i spent a lot of time being the only person on the stall, and as such couldn't be directing people to it, having to guard the float and the stall in general. packed up about a half hour before the end, because.. there wasnt much point..

Love never wanted me

man, the past few days have been odd. mainly odd on the way home, in that i've had weird feelings. on monday, there was delirious happiness, and then yesterday there was a huge, ominous sense of forboding, like there was something big on the horizon, drawing closer, but still out of sight. and then today.. a general.. i don't know, bemusement? i wonder what tomorrows journey home will bring. possibly feelings of dread, what with the home then parents evening thing, but i won't know for sure till it happens.

*has nothing else to say*

I'm the first kid to write of hearts, lies and friends

Today was a monday, but didn't really feel like a monday, as we all know monday feels like a combination of a sugar hanogver and an alcohol high, mixed up with the colour grey and the sound of a small woodland creature. probably a squirrel.

ramblings aside, it was an alright day, despite huge amounts of tired and copious amounts of headache. comms was pretty cancelled, so i had two free periods first thing instead of one, and I went to the library to check out books from my list, see if they're there etc. saw ABL, who had the day off for his biology exam, and distracted him from his lack of revision. he made me take out all three books of the trilogy he suggested, and then i discovered i had no bag-space, so his locker was comandeered (for the good of the people, you understand) and then there was sitting around-age in the common room, doing very little of anything. there was talk of crazy vampires from kinghorn at some point, and general shunnage of olly due to the lack of gillis.

computing happened, and the room had magically altered it's layout over the weekend. most of the lesson was spent going over how to do what we'd already been told to do about databases, and then supposedly implementing it, but failing to get the server password working. andy concurred with me that fall out boy are good, and asked for a copy of the CD. or something.

break occured, and there was talk of stuff, among other things. ABL and matt wandered off into town without me, despite proddings of 'i have a free period next' beforehand. this resulted in more check-age of the library, to see what books on my list they didn't have, etc. of a list of something like 30, there were only about 3 or 5 missing, which i'll probably be able to find in the library in town. unfotunately, one of these was one of the ones i was more eager to read, which was kind of annoying..

english was short, and the teacher was annoyed because around.. two.. of the eleven people in our class had actually done last weeks work/homework properly. yours truly was not one of the two, as per usual. the play we have to do our coursework on doesn't seem too uninteresting, or at least it seems more well written than 'death of a salesman' at least. i'll probably have it read before the end of the week.

lunch involved the finding of various people, then the wondering of what to do, before the final going to tescos. coke and doughnuts were purchased and consumed! they were considered good, if not particularly nutritious or healthy. screw future me , anyway. he's never done anything for present me! and when he exists, i won't, so he won't be able to! that'll be his excuse too, the bastard.

japanese happened too, and was more going over of last weeks lesson. not completely boring, but not terribly interesting either. however,

Anata no okusan wa okii kaba desu!

which, roughly translated means 'your wife is a big hippo!' what fun.

walking home was odd, because i felt perculiarly happy. big grin on my face, when i wasn't mouthing along to lyrics. it was odd.

Take two paracetamol and go to bed

another weekend day squandered, and mightily so. well, i say mightily. wasting a day doesn't really take much effort, and it's not particularly something you can do spectacularly, or with any sort of style. but my original statement still stands, and it was a day squandered mightily. this lazy day was largely spent, against my preference, and under parental 'request', further tidying my room. it is now relatively tidy even under the beds, and the bookcase has been reorganised. the room still needs to be vacuumed, and could probably currently be classified as an asthmatics nightmare. i still don't have a usable desk however, the current one being still covered with various crap, and also some things which aren't school related. i beleive my GCSE certificates are somewhere in that pile. also.. the coke cans are no longer in their pile.. i had to plea for them to be spared. not very much, in truth, and i'm not particularly sure why.. but they are now in a bag instead of their comfortable pile on my desk corner.

having now listened to that Fall Out Boy CD a lot more, i can now safely say that it can't really be called anything other than good. to do so would be to incurr a stabbing from the good music elves, who are rather violent in their protection of the good name of good music, and who view slander as untolerable. so there.

also, on a few seperate notes i have started another blog for the express purpose of ranting about books i have read. it should also eventually get my reading list put up on it somewhere. i've yet to ranton it, but will at some point soon. got some things to say about books i read a week or two ago, and maybe i'll have more to say on future book-readings.

in other news, i know i have at least some homework i haven't done, and probably won't do, and there's a good chance theres some i don't remember that i probably won't do. isn't it fun to be me?*

*This question is both rhetorical and sarcastic. answers will be punished accordingly. such punishments as hot pokers in unpleasant places spring to mind.

Nothing like a pathetic fallacy for an ego boost, eh?

ssaturday. i set my alarm quite early, but then ignored it. got woken up in time to get ready for karate and have breakfast and all those things. got to karate, got given green belt, gave blue belt away, and did the karate things. was good, but tiring. we learnt the.. green belt katta, probably spelt haianyondan, or similar. i think i might actually remember it now, but we'll go over it again next week.

spent a lot of the rest of the day tidying my room, with the aid of my not really disobedient but easily distracted younger brother, and you can see the FLOOR. you can't see the desk though. and i wouldn't recommend looking under by bed to anyone i didn't hate with a burning passion. but that's beside the point. it resembles a tidy room now.

also got a haircut, and bought 'from under the cork tree' by fall out boy. sounds alright so far, with some good tracks, but i've not listened to it enough for a full verdict yet.

in other news, i'm compiling a reading list, of books i should or probably would like to read. i'm MAINLY compiling it by asking other people, but if i remember any books i always meant to read (like i did with 'The catcher in the rye' a while back) i'll add them. sensible suggestions generally accepted.

Just for the record..

another day happened. (they do that. usually when you're not looking, the sneaky beggars..) missed the bus this morning, and had to walk into school, but luckily i had a bunch of un-drunken coke cans from the previous day (i bought too many yesterday) so i didn't have to worry about having no time to go to tescos.

after that the day continued as normal as they normally do, english happened, i wasn't reprimaned for skiving the day before, and no essay was violently demanded. or even asked for nicely. probably shouldn't be skipping classes and not doing homework a week before parents evening, especially since i'll be there with my 'rents and my teachers. any scenario i'm imagining at this point is nothing like fun, but it might be tolerable.

comms, and the lesson was spent largely on discussion, so i faded into the background and ignored most of everything. break occured, and foodstuffs of various types were purchased, and eaten. or drunk. hmmm... drunk..

no, lets not go off on a tangent. bad rory. anyhow, after break.. was history. i just remembered something about break, but it's one of the sort of things i don't really talk about here. as is usual with things like this, is one of those things that i don't talk about because it's too personal.. which may seem silly on my blog, but my feelings are mine, and if i don't display them in public normally, why would i start showing what i feel to strangers? i keep everything close, and as a result this blog tends to have big gaps, important things missing. sometimes i pretend they don't exist, sometimes i just don't post if there's something particularly emotive that's happened. i don't even really know why i'm mentioning it now to be honest with you, it's just.. everything in this blog should be taken with a pinch of salt. a big one. i don't talk about even half the things i think or feel, and my meh-ish approach to recounting my life probably makes it seem like i don't think, that my every movement is backed with a 'meh'.

god damnit. i started that paragraph saying i wouldn't go off on a tangent and guess what happens? eugh.

the rest of the day.. well, was usual enough. history was boring as hell though, and then after lunch ABL tried desperately to play FFXI on toms laptop, and forgot how to get into it, so didn't get to play until period eight. poor him.

anyway, thats probably enough ranting and ruminating for today. so, until tomorrow.

or, of course, later than tomorrow. pretty much whenever i get round to it, really.

What would Batman do?

another day passes, and the failure to notice all of existence continues.

well, today was more than kinda boring. there was the whole computing and history lessons thing, and then some skiving off english. i should probably do that essay that was the cause of me skiving in the first place, but that might take too much effort.

eh, i'll just do it really half assedly. or maybe still not at all. a dilemma occurs.

YE was different because of some people having exams, and also there were just some weird suggestions. mainly from hamilton. i shouldn't need to say any more, and am of course forbidden from doing so anyway. simon and dave bird nearly killed me after the meeting for asking people if they knew where mr williams was, in case it caused them to figure out our devious plots. it didn't, unsurprisingly.

periods seven and eight were spent idly hanging around the school with matt. i don't actually know why i didn't go home, but what're you gonna do. apart from burn down the school, obviously.

It's that time again

a.. wednesday..!

yeah, that's what it was.

what was my point.. my.. point..

...

Shrug

people had exams today (but not me.. suckers..) so they disappeared during registration, or.. didn't show up.. but history was spent watching the rest of my goup do the presentation, and the comms was spent quickly doing the 500 word report to show to warner, and getting told it was about a C grade. which is good for half an hours of coursework which was supposed to be done over a couple of weeks. he said i should probably aim to get it up to an A grade, and if i actually do some work in comms in the next couple of lessons i might do that.

break was short, and PSHE was both boring, pointless, and EVEN worse there was religious craziness going on in the background. i did manage to steal jonnys cufflinks WHILE HE WAS WEARING THEM though, so i think i win.

computing happened, and matt and david bird both got detentions for not doing the homework. i didn't do it, but didn't get in trouble, because i made it look like i had. which probably means i win again

lunch involved.. lunch, and also alex complaining about us not waiting for him, before fencing, which was ok apart from the bit when i agreed to do sabre with alex, and with his first hit he maimed my sword arm, making the rest of the duel a bit pointless, because i could hardly hold the sword, nevermind swing or stab with it.

japanese, and we basically went over what we did on monday in the other japanese class, but.. with less retardedness. probably.

I don't know

just a quick update before i toddle off to bed. mmm.. bed..

tuesday passed without major event. english was sorta cancelled, so i spent the first three periods bumming around doing nothing much of anything, before i went to my first lesson of the day, teh history, which was brief and largely uninteresting. got told off by a fellow student for doodling instead of working. since i always have, and always will doodle in history, this was pretty much ignored.

it's possible that thinking was forced upon me during break, and as a result i can't remember it. or, i just can't remember it. maybe, just maybe, it wasn't noteworthy at all.

i spent computing productively, and broke the computer at least 8 times. 4 of those times required complete reboots of the computer. lets NOT tell F:Netix that their newly elected IT director kept breaking his computer, mmkay?

lunch was the fnetix meeting, and again, is classified, and to reveal information would be to risk face-stabbings, so thats not happening. spent the last ten minutes of lunch printing off my comms, and then went to comms, and failed to absorb any information whatsoever. oh well. it's not like i'm going to be examined on it or anything..

wait.. what? i am? damnit..

Black Magic

Time, being a human construct, acts as humans expect it to. so it's been passing.

i can't remember when exactly my last post or what it entailed, but i'll assume it was friday/thursday, and anything after that is fair game to talk about (it's not my fault i have a brain like a sieve. those holes are MATT'S fault)

saturday was the first karate lesson back, and was tiring and a bit achy, due to lack of excersise-ness. we sort of were told to learn the next kata in ten minutes, and then.. didn't... \o/ saturday was also my bro's party, but as he's seven, i wasn't really invovled in that at all. they went to kidzone or something. it did mean i pretty much had a free house though, and the peace was kind of good.

i don't recall much of sunday, so not much probably happened. eh, what're you gonna do.

monday was pretty much a monday. standard ollie/gillis/tang banter in period one, which can be amusing, but also worries me slightly about the state of mankind. the three of them just.. yeah, 'nuff said. period two was comms, which was spent looking for a good book in the library, and then computing was Dr Bond telling matt to stop staring into space, and telling us he'd ordered a black Aibo.. hurrah for taxes!

break was bountiful. there was chocolate. let it not be said that the chocolate was bad! for it was good. my free period six was used to actually find a book to read, and complete ignore the fact that i had an english essay to hand in for the next period. but that was irrelevant, because the teacher forgot about it, and luckily the pople who HAD done the essay, like toby and rob daly, didn't try hand in the essay and conveniently remind her. j0y. also, she said she won't be IN our lesson tomorrow, so i have a whole extra WEEK of not doing the essay!

lunch was.. blurry! i vaugely remember wandering. tesco's was involved at some point.
doughnuts may or may not have been purchased and eaten! and then, well, japanese happened. ABL surprisingly showed up, and spent most of the lesson distracting me by getting me to talk about FFXI..

which brings me to the focus of the past couple of days, which is FFXI (i'm such a nerd. it's just terrible) it's almost like meeting an old friend after a long time of not seeing them. well, i think anyway. i've never been in the situation i just compared it to, so i don't actually know. but the point is, it's almost like i never got bored and left.. apart from the big gap of about 5 months.

it's entirely possible i could talk about FFXI too much, so i'm going to finish up this post and.. go play some more FFXI ;)

SCHewwL???!?!?!!?!

so, we've been back at the place that must not be named for two days now, and it's (unfortunately) pretty much the same. my suggestions for improving it mainly involve turning it into a pile of rubble though, so i suppose it should be expected to stay as it is. anyway, the days have been normal. yesterday there was a little bit of skiving off games, and sort of dodging doing any work in the latter part of our comms lesson. PSHE was especially pointless yesterday, as Mr Nathan spent the whole period getting us to come up with assembly ideas, then told us at the end of the period that he had a plan and that he SUGGESTED VERY MUCH that we do his idea. which is Inchargepersonese for 'We're doing it this way'

Japanese was.. japanese, and i spent most of the rest of the day asleep, to be honest.

today was a usual thursday, except.. um.. well i can't think of many ways it was unusal really. there was the young enterprise meeting, and we held re-elections..! i got IT Director. i'll probably get Dead-ed if i say what else was got by whom, and don't really want to get stabbed by simon and the like. so i won't say. but if you really care, ask.. simon or someone, who would otherwise do the stabbing.

apart from that the day was uneventful. one thing worth mentioning is the whole 'everyone going back to FFXI' thing. i've now re-installed it, but have to wait for my dad to input his card stuff so i can start the update slog '/sigh'

it seemed to be letting me restore my data up to the point where it asked for credit details anyway, so my character probably isnt dead. especially since armstrongs wasn't..

It's a trap!

this means i'm not lying! huzzah! see, i said i'd post before the end of the holidays. so i probably win.

anyhow, went ice skating yesterday, 'twas the ow, but i was better than last time (which is not saying much) but what're ya gonna do. apart from burn down the ice rink, not much! also, burning down the ice rink was made more difficult by the fact that they didn't use frozen petrol for the ice. tch. noobs.

on the way back, the train broke before it could leave the station. the driver called it a failure \o/. it shames it's lack of a family!

also, i went to see the narnia movie earlier, with.. part of my family. saw, and prodded the ellis, who was there to see the producers with his family.. so technically i saw more than one ellis.. but thats irrelevant. the movie was ok, but nothing amazing. trailer for the upcoming alex rider movie looked OK as well, but i probably won't be arsed to go and see it.

so Yeah. Arr